Wednesday, February, 19, 2003 was a day that was overcast and cold in Royersford, PA. I awoke with a pounding headache as I had seem to always have for months now. I was exhausted and stressed, suffering from constant anxiety. I felt lately like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I was driving to work and noticed my vision was blurry and double. I actually drove to work with 1 eye covered. Over the next hour the double vision would not go away. I called my father who was 90 minutes away to please leave home and come pick me up at work and take me to the Ophthalmologist who I already called.
After seeing the Ophthalmologist he immediately left the room and came back with a nurse. He then told me he called over to the hospital ER and they were expecting me, he was afraid I had a brain aneurysm. I needed to go to the ER for an immediate MRI of my Brain. Completely shocked and upset by his statement I went to the waiting room crying, told my father what he said and we went to the ER 6 miles away. The longest 6 miles of my life. A large hospital, when I got there and told them who I was they already knew I was coming and whisked me back to a room. I changed and they immediately started giving me several milligrams of Ativan to calm me down. I was freaking out - they thought I had a brain aneurysm - I was going to die.
It took 5 IV Push MG of Ativan to calm me down enough to lay for a MRI. Afterwards, they read the MRI immediately. Soon after returning me to my ER room they came in and told my father and I that I had MS. I was SO pumped up on Ativan and out of it I remember them telling me that I do not have an aneurysm, but, I do have MS. I just remember both myself and my father crying and then my memory fades to the next day when I was in my hospital room getting IVSM pumped into me.
Official Diagnosis was Optic Neuritis which is why I had the double vision. Other than the MRI, I also had the Visual Evoked Potential test which they told me "you failed horribly" and combined with my Mother's history of MS, they concluded I had MS. Well at least I was not going to die today from a Brain Aneurysm. Looking back I think I was in shock for the first 5 or 6 weeks. I spent 3 days in the hospital on IVSM, then went to stay with my dad as I was so weak and needed help getting around and such for a few weeks after.
Then it was time to Digest what was wrong with me. I started connecting all the dots, it all made sense. All those terrible migraines that I was experiencing for over 1 year and had no reason other than work stress to attribute it to. MS. The nervous breakdown and anxiety that began about 1 month before diagnosis. MS. All of it. MS. I knew now what the problem was and it scared me to death. I was going to die young like my mom and suffer for years like she did. How long did I have till the disability started? No one would love me again, I was divorced and would be single forever. How would I tell anyone I dated about it? At what point should I tell them? How would everyone at work treat me since I know they knew because I was so upset that I blurted it out when I called from the hospital.
February - April 2003 is how long it took me to get over that initial Flare, Diagnosis and Shock. However, God sent me an Angel to show me the way and her name was Linda. My next post will be about her.
2 comments:
It's good to hear your story. Optic neuritis was my first official attack as well, but I wasn't diagnosed with MS at the time.
Looking through Vaseline-Covered Glasses
Red to Brown and the Great Gray Blob
ON, me too, though I'd had many sypmtoms b4. Head trauma from pick up hitting me at age 10. DX 33 yrs old. I KNOW I have angels around me. You do too.
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